Sometimes,

Hey. What’s up. How’s it going. How’s your soul. I know it is August 10th and I haven’t made a July playlist, let alone written on this here blog in a long time but you know what thats okay. Sometimes life can be hard and sometimes you have too much to say yet you can’t adequately organize your thoughts. Or maybe thats just me. Sometimes it can feel like you’re not growing and sometimes that can make you sad. Sometimes you can feel like your life isn’t really moving anywhere and sometimes you can feel like you’re living the same day over and over and over again and nothing out of the ordinary is happening and that is okay. Some days you can struggle with loving yourself, more than other days. Some days you don’t want to go to work. Some days you allow yourself to get too stressed out about the future. And sometimes you allow yourself to get too stressed out over very small things. And thats okay.

Sometimes it can be extra hard to feel grateful, or to feel happy or content. It is easy to let tiny victories and things you’re grateful for fall to the wayside when you are too busy feeling those heavier thoughts and emotions that I listed up there. But I think that is part of the issue, at least for me. See there are beautiful things surrounding you and I every single day. They may be harder to notice sometimes but they’re there. That fact alone is comforting to me. I mean come on we have sunsets, and oceans and mountains. Outer space and the stars to look up to every night. As cheesy as all of this is, it is just the simple truth. Sometimes there are days where you feel hopeless and sad. Sometimes you can feel like you are not accomplishing anything. But let me tell you this. That your existence alone, has made an impact on this planet. You have made someones day brighter, someones heart smile. I guarantee it. So those days when you feel upset just know that your existence matters and that you are moving forward, always. It may not be evident now, but great masterpieces take time. And you are art.

The Epitome Of Being Alone

When you’re alone. You have a lot of time to yourself. To think. To clean your room. To read or do homework. To think. To empty the dishwasher. To Think. There is a pattern here isn’t there? I think there’s this falsified image of what being alone should look like. Maybe like Carrie Bradshaw drinking wine by herself on a New York City Street in that one episode of Sex and the City. Or someone who is always productive and getting important things done. When in reality, being alone can get lonely. You can have too much time to think, too much time to convince yourself to clean your room tomorrow, and too much time to convince yourself of false things. After going through a really dumb (but hard at the time) break up I convinced myself that I needed to learn how to be alone. I needed to be my own home instead of making someone else one. I needed to completely love myself. So I started working on that stuff, not really realizing how deep that is, and how hard it is to do. I got this preconceived notion that no one can love you unless you love yourself, which, after growing up just a little bit more and living a few more years of life I realized was wrong. Self love is something that is extremely important to have. But it is also something so incredibly difficult to obtain. It takes time truly. It takes small steps and tiny victories. Looking at yourself in the mirror and learning to love the things about yourself that you’ve been conditioned to hate is a difficult mountain to climb. So I think that it is false and unfair to believe that no one could love you unless you love yourself. I think it matters that you are trying, I think that it is an important thing to work on because when it comes down to it we are all super rad human beings okay. And that is the truth.

Along with loving the heck out of yourself, spending time with yourself and your own company is an import thing to learn as well. Because at the end of the day all you have is yourself, and if you don’t like the temple you’re residing in (yes your body is a temple okay) then it can be difficult to get through the day. The main thing that you have to conquer is your mind. At least for me. It can be easy to convince yourself that you aren’t growing, or accomplishing things. We as humans have this thing where we are so critical of ourselves, you know? It’s like we are our own worst critic. And it can be so easy to fall into this downward spiral of negative thoughts, and when you’re alone you are stuck trying to dig yourself out of that. But when it comes down to it you just have to take a step back and recollect your thoughts and try really, really hard to turn your brain around to the sunlight. Just remind yourself of all of the cheesy good stuff. Like the invention of donuts or being able to see the sunset or being healthy. Because every single one of us are so precious and filled to the brim with potential. It’s crucial to just be patient with yourself and your own growth. And be easy on yourself. There will be days that are tough and days that are amazing and a bunch of normal ones in between, but at the end of each one will be a sunset. And nothing bad can happen when you’re watching a sunset okay. It’s a proven scientific fact.